The Importance of Practicing Delayed Gratification
One of the aspects of modern society that poses a challenge to emotional processing is the fact that gratification at all times is readily available. Be it the abundance of junk food options or unlimited exciting content to keep our minds occupied. In a situation like this, actually sitting down with difficult and uncomfortable thoughts and sensations can be quite difficult. The practice of delayed gratification can be a useful tool that can train our mind to not have all the pleasure that it seeks. This does require a certain amount of discipline and willpower – a fair use of the “yang” principle. A gentle exertion of control can ensure that the inner child within us is not running the show. This may require some trial and error to figure out what works best for you and what may be taking things too far. It’s important to listen to the inner guidance system (a.k.a. intuition) while fine-tuning the process. I can present a few examples by which this can be done:
1. Intermittent fasting: Recent research has proven the numerous health benefits associated with intermittent fasting, wherein your eating window is restricted to a certain time period within the day. Interestingly enough, it isn’t really a modern concept and it has been practiced by monks and sages of the east since ancient times. Apart from that, food is one of the primary means by which a lot of humans derive pleasure. By restricting the time interval in which one can gain that kind of pleasure and escape may pave the way for certain hidden tendencies to come to the light. You may be able to notice how a lot of the times, we eat just for a small kick and not really because of hunger. This is one means by which the process of eating food - something that every human being does - can be made a conscious process. It also goes without saying that every time you do sit down to eat, try to JUST eat. No scrolling, no watching something, but just sitting with the sometimes restless self.
2. Conscious changes to diet: The process of sitting down, doing some research on what changes can be made to the way you eat in a way that could optimize your health and actually implementing some of the suggestions is yet another beautiful way in which you can show your body some love. With the abundance of information available now in the realm of nutrition, it can be quite confusing on what to actually do. Whether one should adopt veganism/vegetarianism or eat leaner meats or eat tons of protein. There is no set answer to this, since different nutritionists and content creators may tell you different things. A good idea would be to slow down, see what resonates with you and then actually take steps in that direction.
This is one of those things that may require some fine-tuning as you actually put it into action. The idea is to feel that you are doing something that you think may be good for your body rather than just seeking pleasure through food. This may require you to say “no” to certain cravings initially, until it becomes a new way of living. The process of saying “no” and trying to stick to a certain path allows more order and structure to be manifest rather than a chaotic way of living. However, it is important to practice moderation and allow yourself a few treats every now and then since that too, is a way of showering yourself with love.
3. Saying NO to mindless content consumption: Social media, youtube, websites, smartphones are immense technological advances that have taken over the world in the past few decades. While they are most certainly useful and have made information access so easy and abundant, they also ensure that a person is never bored. Now, this can be a problem simply because people can’t stay a moment without “stimulation” of some sort. Not having a quiet moment to ourselves doesn’t allow the natural process of reflection and emotional processing to take place within us. It is my humble opinion that the increasing exposure to various phenomenon and news all around the world calls for more moments of processing, since there is more that needs to be integrated. This could possibly be the reason for the disillusionment and increasing mental health issues around the world.
Furthermore, the constant dopamine that is released – maybe by watching an exciting travel video or a witty reel of a cute cat – makes it that much more difficult to get ourselves to do tasks that do not release dopamine such as work, studying for a test or doing the laundry. It also blocks off access to our inner flow of creativity that allows us to create beautiful things in the world and work on our passion projects. Therefore, this is something that we need to be mindful about and limit the consumption of. Next time when you are standing in a line somewhere, notice the tendency to grab your phone and scroll through Instagram. Consider taking that moment to check in with yourself instead and notice what you are thinking and feeling. Maybe take a deep breath and observe your surroundings instead. Delay your gratification from social media to a set time in any given day.
4. A general sense of discipline: I would say it is very subjective how tight the reins need to be on your personal discipline since different things work for different people. For some, just having an idea of what specific tasks need to be accomplished in any given day and then doing them as the day flows works. Others thrive on scheduling every moment on their calendar with set time blocks for everything that needs to be done in a day – including maintenance activities like brushing their teeth and taking a shower. However, I do stress the importance of some present zen time with activities like yoga, meditation, or slow mindful walks everyday and of course, some physical activity as well. Notice if the mind puts up resistance against doing them and gently compel yourself to them anyway. That’s how you can ensure that YOU are in control and not the sweet little inner child 😊.
